I like this; I particularly like the ending where ...
# forever-poetry
p
I like this; I particularly like the ending where you invoke the image of the coins. Your imagery's great, and there's a real sense of the relationship between the speaker and their mother. I understand that the transfer to the underworld is supposed to be done 'suddenly'; I understand the intention. However, I find that change of location a jarring reading experience in a way which disrupts my experience of the poem, and I wonder whether it would be worth exploring the interaction between the speaker and the old man more, or the location of the house/kitchen