I dig the love for Passyunk Square. You've got a lot of good imagery. Imo, the spacing between words takes away from the imagery you've carefully constructed. It was a little hard to read in places. On re-reads, I'm still puzzled by the reference to the composer Sakomoto . Seems out of place, but I am no Philadelphian. I love the word "dodgerblue". Keep it. Enjoyed the Mitch Hedberg reference as well. What do I know? Just my opinion.