# forever-poetry

fz // Rinnan Literary

04/14/2023, 3:49 PM
hi! i really really liked the imagery and the narrative in this poem. LOVE the way your portray the characters, your writing is always very good at building up people who seem real (even perhaps in fantasy/spec fic adjacent work like this) that said, however, there’s a few things that i hope you look at. Firstly, i find the adjectives in this poem to sometimes act as barriers to a full experience of it if thats makes sense?? Does your work inherently need all of these adjectives? do they have to be — technically speaking — difficult, long word adjectives? secondly, as another person said, it is a very jarring transition to the underworld and i’d add,what is also somewhat jarring then, is going to the mother. try elongating the poem a little bit. Most fantasy poems are on the longer end. And again, you know your work best. Hope this helped!